Day Two : I Hope You Know

Maybe I'm selfish.

I feel like everyone is always staring at me, judging me and looking at me in disgust. So, maybe I AM selfish. Or, maybe I am crazy, either way I still feel it is the absolute truth. We all have beliefs about ourselves right? We believe we are too fat, too skinny, too white, too short, too tall, etc. But why do we need to feel that way? Why is it SO impossible to feel.....just right?

Society. That is your answer. We are simply watching our favorite television show on a Saturday night, and then a stupid Victoria's Secret commercial comes on. "showing how the bras and panties fit", but all you can focus on is how these girl can fit inside these undergarments! Most of the time the girls are just wearing normal looking panties and bras! OH! and they are wearing wings, which you cannot even buy at Victoria's Secret. And this is just for us ladies. Men maybe are forced (by their girlfriends) to watch a girly show, and here pops up a commercial for Calvin Kline cologne. What do we see on this commercial? Everything EXCEPT the dang cologne. Shirtless men, with 8-packs, and super toned muscles, oh and they are tan and just good-looking. And then at the VERY end you see a millisecond of what the cologne looks like. The commercial doesn't tell us how great the smell is, or hell what it even smells like! 

The commercial ends and what do we see in ourselves after that? Fat, lazy, ugly individuals. But why do we see that? I just do not understand it.

I may be getting a little off topic but this really gets to me because I am constantly battling my confidence levels. Then just when I think (For half a second) that I am pretty, I see one of those stupid commercials. I then go right back to feeling terrible about myself. So, not only do i have super low confidence levels, now i have super low confidence levels and want to eat a salad.

Nobody really likes salad, unless it is drenched in ranch and has chicken, cheese and french fries included (yum).

Anyways, I'm not the only person in the wold who has low self-esteem issues. . . But I am the only person who knows what my own self-esteem issues are like. I will be honest, I have a boyfriend who tells me i'm perfect, beautiful and selfless. . . but I cannot push myself to believe him. Again, I was torn down my entire life by people telling me i will never be good enough. So how can i believe this guy who says not only those things above, but that he loves me? I guess in a way, i need him. Without him i feel alone, scared, and depressed. That may sound cliche but i really don't care. My Entire Life i was pushed to be independent, and to be honest i just don't want to be independent anymore. I want to ALLOW myself to depend on someone else. He is willing to let me, so I need to try to believe the words he says.

I hope you all know that you are better than those stupid ugly commercials you watch on TV. You are better than that crappy smelling cologne too! Who needs Calvin Kline? I hope you know that you will amount to something, and you don't have to be toned, tough, skinny and strong to get there. You need to be who you are. Don't change yourself just because everyone else around you is telling you that you need to. 

I hope you know that i believe we should all say, "Screw society."

Day Two: Complete